Debate Recap

Debate Recap short version–

Economy is ill – market tanked. What say you?

McCain – Thanks to Barry’s incompetent and corrupt friends, the housing market crashed. We must reform this as I have been saying (and have the letter to prove it, where is your letter, Barry?). I don’t like having to use tax payer money to bail out losers, but I am left with no choice at this point, thank you Democrat Congress. Explains another socialist banking plan, but at least apologizes for it. Points out tax cuts must happen, really the only tried and true solution. By the way, Barry is going to tax the living snot out of you, Joe the Plumber!

Obama – As Dear Leader, I will cut taxes for 95% of Americans even though 40% of Americans don’t even PAY taxes. Free money for all! I am not going to tax you, Joe the Plumber! Unless you make over $250K, then all bets are off! Where did I get that number? Dunno, it just sounded good. But I am also going to tax EVIIILLLL corporations. I call it my EVILLLLLL Corporation Tax and the more evil I deem you, the more you pay. Exxon Mobile? Get out the “going out of business” signs! BWHAHAHAHAHA

McCain – Look, World Leader. The US has the 3^rd highest corporate tax in the world. Guess where they go if you increase that? The Countries numbered 4 on down. Guess what goes with those corporations? JOBS. And Joe? You get taxed out the whazoo, too.

Lots of bad stuff being said to each other. Can’t we all get along?

McCain – He started it. Every time I turn around, he is saying something negative about me – making shiz up even. Today! a George Wallace comparison and very ugly things said. Are you going to repudiate that, Senator Obama?

Obama – no

McCain – see?

Obama – You said I pal around with terrorists and am a liar!

McCain – Only because you do and you are.

Obama – (seething):

On Ayers: I was 8 when Ayers did bad things. Blah blah. We were on a board about school reform – headed by Reagan’s great friend, Annenberg. He is not on my campaign for the last time!

McCain - The “I was only 8” has lost its sparkle. You weren’t 8 when you served on the Annenberg Challenge, and you weren’t 8 when you had your political coming out party at the Ayer’s abode. You weren’t 8 when he was published standing on the American flag 9/11/2001, where he also announced he felt he hadn’t done enough during his Weatherman years. (What should have been added - Oh by the way, it wasn’t some group he joined – it was a domestic terrorist group he FOUNDED. Simply shaking your head saying it isn’t true and deleting references from your website doesn’t cut it – there are documents proving all of the above happened. Tells us, Barry. How’d that school reform thing actually work out? One more thing, did anyone let you know Annenberg was somewhat dead while you served on that board so although eligible to vote under ACORN rules, he was not endorsing your Marxist indoctrination plan. When did anyone accuse you of having Ayers on your campaign staff? The issue isn’t Ayers advising you, it’s the past association we want to know about. I’ll wait why you explain that.

Obama – Stop with the ACORN. I only worked on Motor Voter.

McCain - just motor voter? Seriously? Barry, have you heard of this little thing on the internet called “Youtube”?

The My Running Mate can beat up Your Running Mate question –

Obama on Biden – He has the best foreign quality experience. For example, that brilliant strategy to divide up Iraq. He also remembers where he came from – just not the fact that the restaurant he went too last month closed 20 years ago. He cares about womens too, by sponsoring the “Violence Against Womens” Act.

Obama on Palin – (invoking Hillary Clinton) She is quite capable.

McCain on Palin –( I think he said she was a “breast of fresh air” and then corrected it – its not running all over the news, so maybe I misheard. If he did say it, that is pretty close to a Biden scale gaffe!) Lots of examples as to how “Senator” Palin took on the Alaskan Good Ole Boys network. (He returned to her correct title of Governor the rest of the evening) knows about energy reform which we need, so yep, she is top notch.

McCain on Biden – well if by qualified you mean he is over 35 and a native born citizen, I suppose he is. (not really, but close enough and that is what he was thinking)

Free Trade! Or Not!

McCain – important for our economy, need to keep going with Columbia, they buy lots of our stuff which means we get money.

Obama – After studying history with Joe Biden, I need to say that NAFTA is Bush’s fault. He used the Rovian Mind Meld which forced Clinton to sign it. It’s very bad, that trade with Columbia because there is violence in that country. Once I stop that violence, trade can just start up again beginning with fairies and unicorns. Meanwhile, let’s keep that Peruvian unicorn trade going.

McCain then Hoovered Obama, then McCain drew attention to O’s “eloquence” which is a buzzword for lie.

Health Care -

Obama tells us a little story about 2 laid off ladies with no health insurance, and then rambles on, and on about socialized health care that isn’t really, it’s only socialized if you don’t get it through work.

McCain – the give and take health care plan, free choice, lowered taxes

Obama – companies will stop covering if they find out people can use their own money to buy a plan (but they won’t if they know the government will pick up the tab totally under the Obama plan?)

McCain – if you want socialized medicine, go stand in line for care in Canada and England, you shmuck

Obama – “Y’all heard my plan”

Education –

Obama – I have this little program I like to call the “Whitney Houston Education Reform Act”. I believe our children are our future…

McCain – ok then – I think parents should be able to do what we do, Barry and send them to good schools. Bad teachers, outta there. Use vouchers, they work.

Obama – I don’t like bad teachers either! Ummm..I mean, re-train them 53 times, THEN fire them (sorry teacher’s union, please still send me your cash). Can we sing again? I BELIEVE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE, AND I HATE PLUMBERS NAMED JOE….

SCOTUS

McCain – after dancing, “I will put in judges who follow the Constitution as it is written and not legislate from the bench” This dingbat over here blocked a great judge and voted against others for ideological reasons.

O – I will put in judges who will think about the Constitution, but then rule for the greater good of the people. I voted against those judges because they don’t believe the Constitution is nuanced.

Abortion-

McCain – Roe v. Wade is a bad decision. Up to states, federalists, but if it was up to me? Nope. Adopt. Better for the child.

O – Roe v. Wade is right on the money in the right to privacy clause written in invisible ink in the constitution. Must have abortion – at all costs. Health of mother.

McCain – eloquence again. Health is stretched to anything. But if you care about health so much, what about those babies born alive that you wouldn’t give care too?

O – no, doctors must do to some oath or something like that. Didn’t matter if I voted no to appease! Plus, babies are burdens.

Summary –

McCain – we do not need any more taxes. The democrat congress for the last 2 years have screwed us all. Do you REALLY want to put this guy in for the grand finale?

O – I will have the federal gov’t more involved in schools, healthcare, unicorn trade, business and pay for everyone’s house all the while lowering taxes for 95% of the American population. Then some other line of crap - in all honesty I have no idea what he said.

Observation – if Obama answers second, he does great. Why? He repeats the question and then repeats McCain’s answer! If he goes first, he stumbles. Interesting.

Debate Article in PAST Tense?

What gives? This was posted over 1 hour BEFORE the debate - did someone press the send button too soon and let the cat out of the bag? Has the media gone so far in the tank they are writing about the outcome of the debate pre-debate? Have the post debate analyses been pre-recorded as well? Even if McCain hits one out of the park tonight, looks like its been decided Obama won and the media will let us know what we just heard.

By BETH FOUHY, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 3 minutes ago

HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. - John McCain sought to change the course of a campaign moving decidedly in Barack Obama's direction Wednesday night in the third and final presidential debate.With less than three weeks until the Nov. 4 election, the 90-minute debate focusing on the economic crisis offered the Republican senator from Arizona what could be one of his last big chances to persuade voters to give the race another look.

Polls show Obama, the senator from Illinois, with a clear lead nationally and in several key battleground states.

McCain was keenly aware of the stakes he faced after two debates in which supporters suggested he was insufficiently forceful against Obama...

The Debate Redux - Part Uno

For those that just could not get through that debate, here is a recap -

Question 1 - So, the economy is all screwed up and no one knows what to do. What do you do and what’s in it for me?

Obama - We shouldn’t be afraid, but LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE NEXT GREAT DEPRESSION!!! Bush, blah, blah, firing squad for CEOS, Bush, McCain, blah blah, and for you, the little people, more policies.

McCain – I have a plan that does not include anywhere the word “Bush”. Energy from here, money stays here and doesn’t buy Ahmadinejad’s wife new burkas, your money stays under your mattress, oh! And I almost forgot! Treasury Sec will buy up mortgages and renegotiate the terms to make them more favorable for you. Sound good?

Brokaw (who was an interesting shade of orange) – Who is the new SecTreas, pray tell?

McCain – anyone but you, because you are orange. Oh, I don’t know…lemme think. Warren Buffet? Nahhhh….Meg Whitman? Yeah, she would be pretty good, and since she isn’t working for ebay any longer, she probably has the time. You know about ebay, right? You have listed all your worldly belongings on there recently to pay your mortgage that the damn dems screwed up. (oh wait, that is what he was SUPPOSED to say, but didn’t).

Obama – Me? I have to pick someone? Hey! I know Warren, too! We had watercress sandwiches just the other day at the club. Oh, did you ask a question? Bush! I mean its his fault, ummmm…yeah.

Question 2 – Déjà vu, so this bailout, WTF?

McCain – Fannie and Freddie are all f’d up, thanks to Obama’s socialist demoncrat friends. Oh, and guess who is second place in receiving blood money from the idiots running Freddie and Fannie? Not me! Oh no, that would be BARACK OBAMA. What’d you do with the money, Barry? Enquiring minds want to know.

Obama – Wow. McCain is really, really dumb. I don’t know anyone named Fannie or Freddie. I wrote a letter, I tried to fix it, but it didn’t work! No one listened, I am not all that effective! Ummmm…but people staying in their houses, that is a great idea – but uhh..not how McCain said they should. Bloviate, blah blah…have to take care of really important financial stuff. REALLY important. And big. Big big financial doings. Yep.

McCain – letter? Obama, I wrote a letter saying do something dammit because the yahoos controlling this congress are running it right in the ground and your name so was not on that letter… sheesh. Americans are wonderful and really smart.

Question 3 – You guys both suck. Tell me, which one of you sucks less?

Obama – Did you just say I suck? Let me tell you who sucks around here. BUSH. Bush is the king of suck. You know why? Because he is BUSH. McCain sucks too. Why? Because he is Bush. And…um…Washington lobbyists suck too. We need more policies. I have decided that I like the Biden version of the Constitution, so I am going to spend your money on key issues, congress rules be damned! Did I mention Bush sucks? Ok.

McCain – That was interesting. You know what really sucks? Obama’s ability to spend money like we print it up down the street. Billions, he spends and when he finally gets a coherent sentence out, we learn he wants to spend billions more. On a damn projector, people, your messiah spent 3 million dollars! Do you not get that he is going to take all of your money and for what? A multimillion dollar projector that you, middle class American, could go to staples and buy for like $50? We need to focus on energy independence which will create lots and lots of jobs. And if I am President, you get to actually keep the paycheck that you earn! Now that is novel reform right there. Oh, and guess what kind of energy? We need to drill, baby, drill. We shouldn’t be giving hard earned American cash to those terrorists just so they can use it on more weapons to kill our Soldiers! That is damn crazy talk, sending our money there. You know what else? Nuclear. Yep. Nuclear. And guess what? We have the technology to do that and do it well. And there will be jobs. GO AMERICA!

Obama - grimace.

Brokaw – And how will you prioritize these issues? What first?

McCain – prioritize? This is America! We will do them all, and do them all well because we can! When you have a brain, you can use it! A foreign concept to some, I realize, but I am able to reach across the aisle and work some deals. Like McCain/Feingold, and when I worked with Kennedy. (and right at this moment, thousands of Republicans threw up – ed)

Obama – we must prioritize. Yes. We should. We can’t do things all at one time, oh no. We can’t do them all at once, either. We can go to the moon, Alice! And then get health care all shored up, and the bills won’t have tons of extras because I will just pick the parts I like!

McCain – Obama, you cannot be this stupid, can you? There is NO line item veto and you know why? YOUR PARTY WON’T LET IT HAPPEN, asshat. (Ok, McCain didn’t say this, but he really should have).

Question 4 - Brokaw – amazingly, an Internet question from someone who was alive in the REAL great depression. What or who will you sacrifice?

McCain – I’m down with sacrificing. Everything stops. Slash and burn, baby. Except the Military, because that’s down right un-American to not support them. Everything else? No mas.

Obama – Let me tell you about a little story I’ve dubbed 9-11. On that day, as you may remember, that idiot Bush, who is also John McCain in drag, said go shopping. But…umm…really we should have civilians acting like the military so that umm…peace corp radicals can give the homicidal maniacs in the Army a break, and…ummm….public service, and…energy savings, wow, that’s tough at home, and I’m going to cut spending too! Yessiree! So long as I don’t cut one of my very important hope and change initiatives.

McCain – Good lord, man, what the hell did you just say? In using my handy, dandy Obama decoder ring, I understand you to say you are going to tax those “rich” people who earn $250K and more? Don’t you get that would be lots of small business owners and if you do this, they won’t be able to employ people? I won’t do that because its just a dumb idea. I say keep your money! Employ those people! Why? Because it makes sense, such a simple concept, isn’t it? (the throwing up republicans from earlier feel better now)

Obama – Hey! He was mean so I get to break the rules!

Brokaw – shut up, barry.

Question 5 – tell the world about Social Security

Obama – obviously, McCain will screw it up. Medicare will be toast too. But let me talk about that tax thing, even though you told me to shut up. I am NOT going to tax many small business owners. The ones that will get taxed? Screw ‘em (from KOS!!).

McCain – Are you able to focus at all, Senator? Ever? Shheesh. Let me answer the question for reals. I will fix it – its not so hard. Can the ear marks, get to work like Reagan did. Since Obama brought it up, though, he is going to tax and spend like a drunken sailor!

Question 6 – How are YOU planning to save all the butterflies in this big polluted world?

McCain – See, I am not George Bush. You know why? Because he doesn’t believe in Green. He is just so not with it. I feel we must take all sorts of steps to be green. Yes, we should. And you know what is green? Nukes, and I support nukes. But I don’t like George Bush all that much, because he doesn’t care about the environment, and I am greener than any San Fran loony out there.. (Republicans throwing up again)

Obama – I like Nukes and drilling too! Maybe. Or maybe I don’t. I’m not really sure. But I agree with McCain! Or maybe I don’t, do I? Hey! Shiny thing! Oh, how about if we give some stuff to China? Would that be green? If they are dollars, its green.

Stay tuned for part 2 -