Media could care less. Why is it we get all these news stories about McCain supporters being so angry and violent, yet when the oh so classy dems do this we get the sound of crickets?
I bet I get called racist for this in 3,2,1...
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Debate Recap
Economy is ill – market tanked. What say you?
McCain – Thanks to Barry’s incompetent and corrupt friends, the housing market crashed. We must reform this as I have been saying (and have the letter to prove it, where is your letter, Barry?). I don’t like having to use tax payer money to bail out losers, but I am left with no choice at this point, thank you Democrat Congress. Explains another socialist banking plan, but at least apologizes for it. Points out tax cuts must happen, really the only tried and true solution. By the way, Barry is going to tax the living snot out of you, Joe the Plumber!
Obama – As Dear Leader, I will cut taxes for 95% of Americans even though 40% of Americans don’t even PAY taxes. Free money for all! I am not going to tax you, Joe the Plumber! Unless you make over $250K, then all bets are off! Where did I get that number? Dunno, it just sounded good. But I am also going to tax EVIIILLLL corporations. I call it my EVILLLLLL Corporation Tax and the more evil I deem you, the more you pay. Exxon Mobile? Get out the “going out of business” signs! BWHAHAHAHAHA
McCain – Look, World Leader. The
Lots of bad stuff being said to each other. Can’t we all get along?
McCain – He started it. Every time I turn around, he is saying something negative about me – making shiz up even. Today! a George Wallace comparison and very ugly things said. Are you going to repudiate that, Senator Obama?
Obama – no
McCain – see?
Obama – You said I pal around with terrorists and am a liar!
McCain – Only because you do and you are.
Obama – (seething):
On Ayers: I was 8 when Ayers did bad things. Blah blah. We were on a board about school reform – headed by Reagan’s great friend, Annenberg. He is not on my campaign for the last time!
McCain - The “I was only 8” has lost its sparkle. You weren’t 8 when you served on the Annenberg Challenge, and you weren’t 8 when you had your political coming out party at the Ayer’s abode. You weren’t 8 when he was published standing on the American flag 9/11/2001, where he also announced he felt he hadn’t done enough during his Weatherman years. (What should have been added - Oh by the way, it wasn’t some group he joined – it was a domestic terrorist group he FOUNDED. Simply shaking your head saying it isn’t true and deleting references from your website doesn’t cut it – there are documents proving all of the above happened. Tells us, Barry. How’d that school reform thing actually work out? One more thing, did anyone let you know Annenberg was somewhat dead while you served on that board so although eligible to vote under ACORN rules, he was not endorsing your Marxist indoctrination plan. When did anyone accuse you of having Ayers on your campaign staff? The issue isn’t Ayers advising you, it’s the past association we want to know about. I’ll wait why you explain that.
Obama – Stop with the ACORN. I only worked on Motor Voter.
McCain - just motor voter? Seriously? Barry, have you heard of this little thing on the internet called “Youtube”?
The My Running Mate can beat up Your Running Mate question –
Obama on Biden – He has the best foreign quality experience. For example, that brilliant strategy to divide up
Obama on Palin – (invoking Hillary Clinton) She is quite capable.
McCain on Palin –( I think he said she was a “breast of fresh air” and then corrected it – its not running all over the news, so maybe I misheard. If he did say it, that is pretty close to a Biden scale gaffe!) Lots of examples as to how “Senator” Palin took on the Alaskan Good Ole Boys network. (He returned to her correct title of Governor the rest of the evening) knows about energy reform which we need, so yep, she is top notch.
McCain on Biden – well if by qualified you mean he is over 35 and a native born citizen, I suppose he is. (not really, but close enough and that is what he was thinking)
Free Trade! Or Not!
McCain – important for our economy, need to keep going with
Obama – After studying history with Joe Biden, I need to say that NAFTA is Bush’s fault. He used the Rovian Mind Meld which forced
McCain then Hoovered Obama, then McCain drew attention to O’s “eloquence” which is a buzzword for lie.
Health Care -
Obama tells us a little story about 2 laid off ladies with no health insurance, and then rambles on, and on about socialized health care that isn’t really, it’s only socialized if you don’t get it through work.
McCain – the give and take health care plan, free choice, lowered taxes
Obama – companies will stop covering if they find out people can use their own money to buy a plan (but they won’t if they know the government will pick up the tab totally under the Obama plan?)
McCain – if you want socialized medicine, go stand in line for care in
Obama – “Y’all heard my plan”
Education –
Obama – I have this little program I like to call the “Whitney Houston Education Reform Act”. I believe our children are our future…
McCain – ok then – I think parents should be able to do what we do, Barry and send them to good schools. Bad teachers, outta there. Use vouchers, they work.
Obama – I don’t like bad teachers either! Ummm..I mean, re-train them 53 times, THEN fire them (sorry teacher’s union, please still send me your cash). Can we sing again? I BELIEVE CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE, AND I HATE PLUMBERS NAMED JOE….
SCOTUS
McCain – after dancing, “I will put in judges who follow the Constitution as it is written and not legislate from the bench” This dingbat over here blocked a great judge and voted against others for ideological reasons.
O – I will put in judges who will think about the Constitution, but then rule for the greater good of the people. I voted against those judges because they don’t believe the Constitution is nuanced.
Abortion-
McCain – Roe v. Wade is a bad decision. Up to states, federalists, but if it was up to me? Nope. Adopt. Better for the child.
O – Roe v. Wade is right on the money in the right to privacy clause written in invisible ink in the constitution. Must have abortion – at all costs. Health of mother.
McCain – eloquence again. Health is stretched to anything. But if you care about health so much, what about those babies born alive that you wouldn’t give care too?
O – no, doctors must do to some oath or something like that. Didn’t matter if I voted no to appease! Plus, babies are burdens.
Summary –
McCain – we do not need any more taxes. The democrat congress for the last 2 years have screwed us all. Do you REALLY want to put this guy in for the grand finale?
O – I will have the federal gov’t more involved in schools, healthcare, unicorn trade, business and pay for everyone’s house all the while lowering taxes for 95% of the American population. Then some other line of crap - in all honesty I have no idea what he said.
Observation – if Obama answers second, he does great. Why? He repeats the question and then repeats McCain’s answer! If he goes first, he stumbles. Interesting.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Debate Article in PAST Tense?
What gives? This was posted over 1 hour BEFORE the debate - did someone press the send button too soon and let the cat out of the bag? Has the media gone so far in the tank they are writing about the outcome of the debate pre-debate? Have the post debate analyses been pre-recorded as well? Even if McCain hits one out of the park tonight, looks like its been decided Obama won and the media will let us know what we just heard.
By BETH FOUHY, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 3 minutes ago
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. - John McCain sought to change the course of a campaign moving decidedly in Barack Obama's direction Wednesday night in the third and final presidential debate.With less than three weeks until the Nov. 4 election, the 90-minute debate focusing on the economic crisis offered the Republican senator from Arizona what could be one of his last big chances to persuade voters to give the race another look.
Polls show Obama, the senator from Illinois, with a clear lead nationally and in several key battleground states.
McCain was keenly aware of the stakes he faced after two debates in which supporters suggested he was insufficiently forceful against Obama...Friday, October 10, 2008
Palin Found to Have Abused Her Power
What a world. No one cares that Barack Obama only hangs out with radical Muslims, terrorists and works for organizations that commit acts of fraud every hour on the hour, but this rises to the level of scandalous.
The trooper in "troopergate" tasered his 10 year old stepson, was caught drinking on duty, threatened to kill his father-in-law and managed to earn the following quote from Col. Grimes, who was at the helm of the Police department:
"The record clearly indicates a serious and concentrated pattern of unacceptable and at times, illegal activity occurring over a lengthy period, which establishes a course of conduct totally at odds with the ethics of our profession” and "This discipline is meant to be a last chance to take corrective action. You are hereby given notice that any further occurrences of these types of behaviors or incidents will not be tolerated and will result in your termination".
My review board says any self respecting Public Safety Officer would have hauled this guy up, taken his badge, gun and uniform and sent him out the front gate so quickly it would have left tire marks.
If Monegram was unable to decipher that this trooper was a more than a few bricks short of a load and a danger to himself and others, he is clearly too stupid to be a Public Safety Officer.
A friend found some consolation in this finding and wrote: "So, this means more Dems will vote Palin now, right?"
Update - True to my very obsessive form, I read the report. This paragraph appears to be missing from all the news articles - wonder why? Its a great big mystery. So, without further ado - the final paragrah:
"I find that, although Walt Monegan's refusal to fire Trooper Michael Wooten was not the sole reason he was fired by Governor Sarah Palin, it was likely a contributing factor to his termination as Commissioner of Public Safety. In spite of that, Governor Palin's firing of Commissioner Monegan was a proper and lawful exercise of her constitutional and statutory authority to hire and fire executive branch department heads." - emphasis mine.
The trooper in "troopergate" tasered his 10 year old stepson, was caught drinking on duty, threatened to kill his father-in-law and managed to earn the following quote from Col. Grimes, who was at the helm of the Police department:
"The record clearly indicates a serious and concentrated pattern of unacceptable and at times, illegal activity occurring over a lengthy period, which establishes a course of conduct totally at odds with the ethics of our profession” and "This discipline is meant to be a last chance to take corrective action. You are hereby given notice that any further occurrences of these types of behaviors or incidents will not be tolerated and will result in your termination".
My review board says any self respecting Public Safety Officer would have hauled this guy up, taken his badge, gun and uniform and sent him out the front gate so quickly it would have left tire marks.
If Monegram was unable to decipher that this trooper was a more than a few bricks short of a load and a danger to himself and others, he is clearly too stupid to be a Public Safety Officer.
A friend found some consolation in this finding and wrote: "So, this means more Dems will vote Palin now, right?"
Update - True to my very obsessive form, I read the report. This paragraph appears to be missing from all the news articles - wonder why? Its a great big mystery. So, without further ado - the final paragrah:
"I find that, although Walt Monegan's refusal to fire Trooper Michael Wooten was not the sole reason he was fired by Governor Sarah Palin, it was likely a contributing factor to his termination as Commissioner of Public Safety. In spite of that, Governor Palin's firing of Commissioner Monegan was a proper and lawful exercise of her constitutional and statutory authority to hire and fire executive branch department heads." - emphasis mine.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Debate Part Deux - The Final Chapter
Question 6 (I think) - Health Care is a commodity! How come?
Obama - Good thing you asked that. So, I have a plan. Its big. Blah blah, big big plan full of hope. Not a bad plan like Bush and McCain, their plan is bad. My plan? numbers, figures, numbers, blah blah. Government will save you and do everything. Big, costly plan.
McCain - The government is stinkeroo at stuff, so why the heck should they have health care? I say take this tax credit and go forth and get yourself the plan you want, its a free country so long as Obama doesn't get elected! And forget these stupid don't get health care from that state because you don't live there laws! No! Free market = lower costs! Just say no to socialism!
Obama - Wait! You can't do that! If you do that they will go to lawless states like Delaware! Health Care is a right! Joe Biden Version Constitution says so! We replaced that stupid free speech clause with "Health care for all"! Health care for small business, too! Except the screw 'em sector, not them. Oh, and my mom died of cancer fighting for coverage because it was a pre-existing issue. She was on the phone! She had to call! I couldn't call for her because I was too busy shunning my white family! But I will call for you! By the way, what is a commodity?
Question 7 - How will you lead with peace?
McCain - PEACE THROUGH SUPERIOR FIRE POWER. Because we can kick ass, we keep peace here, there, everywhere. I know, I 've done it. Wait for the right moment, and then BLAMMO, kick some commie butt, result? Peace. Obama? Shoot, he said the surge wouldn't work. Still says that. Because he is dumber than Biden when it comes to such things.
Obama - McCain is right again. I don't understand. I don't like this war, and I want a do over so I can stop it by waving this white flag here. McCain is right that America is great. But we should not be braggarts. We should not point out we are great, we should let other countries have a chance to feel superior, even if that means they might try to shoot us or something. We deserve it. But we should stop genocide in Darfur, because that is just plain evil, killing people because of their race. But putting people in wood chippers is ok. And we shouldn't stop genocide if it will take longer than 10 minutes, or if someone gets hurt or its hard. But from the air - that is ok, because then no one gets dead or anything. Maybe if we stop being so pushy other countries will help and do this. If we give them a puppy and say pretty please they will.
McCain - Obama decoder ring needed again - this time it says you are a Lilly livered cowering coward that wants to surrender instead of fighting like a man. I know how to fight like a man, need experience, not rhetoric. Cool, even experience.
Question 8 - So, you say you want to invade Pakistan?
Obama - BUSH! ROVE! McCAIN! Bush sucks! We are in Iraq and need to get out!
McCain - I love me some Teddy Roosevelt. Speak softly, carry big stick. That guy? Speaks loud and long, little tiny stick if you know what I mean.
Obama - Ok, so we shouldn't invade Pakistan unless we do. McCain says I am inexperienced. Well so what, he sang "Bomb Iran!"
McCain - Its a vet thing, you wouldn't understand.
Obama - Should have killed Osama Bin Laden and there would be instant world wide peace. I will kill him. Just you wait. I am making a transmorgifier in my basement and then I will kill him without really killing him. But there will be peace.
McCain - yeah, you do that. Meanwhile, I am going to go ahead and listen to my friend here, Gen. Patraus.
Question 9 - Oh NOES! RUSSIA! COLD WAR!
McCain - Putin can KMA. I told him before, I'll tell him again.
Obama - ME TOO! He can...what McCain said! Only I said it more! And better! But I must add this - give money to the world - yes, lots of your money to foreigners. Its the only way! That and we must predict when other countries don't like us and situations that might happen - because we need to get the white flag factories all revved up so we can surrender before anything actually starts!
Brokaw - Russia = evil empire?
Obama - ummmm.....uh.....well....uh....do they get this channel in Russia? hmmmm....they sort of act kinda bad, sometimes.....
McCain - Once again, we need to drill here. Drill and drill some more. Energy needs to come from America brought to you by Americans. The Ruskies? They know I will send their fur hat wearin' fannies right back to the 18th century if they look at me funny.
Question 10 - Support Israel? Even if we have to take on Iran?
McCain - Let me shake your hand, you are a retired Navy Chief and a hero. I bow down to you, and your great service to this country. It is because of you that I am putting up with Pinocchio over there. You give me strength. Israel is the bomb, no pun intended, and messing with her is messing with me. The UN is craptastic. Need a new organization that has cojones. See above Russia comments - same goes for you Ahmadinejad!
Obama - Don't touch me, Navy Boy. Oh yes - those mullahs are not very nice. Nope, they aren't for hope and change. Won't ever take military option off the table, but we might be in another room discussing the weather and such. But it will be there. If I can find it under this pile of mail...
Question 11 - The Zen End. What the heck don't you know?
Obama - can I phone a friend? Michelle? I really know just about everything, so this is hard to answer. ummm...well....can I ask McCain because if he says something I like, I can just say "McCain is right, but I thought of it first so its really my idea"....ummm...I don't know what it means to be American, but that's pretty much ok because, you know, I am for hope and change, and I'll make sure that everyone knows that being an Obama American means the government, well specifically me, your dear leader, will show you the way.
McCain - Wowzers. Well, to start, I don't know what that yahoo is going to do the first time a crazazy Middle Eastern leader yells BOO! Or what he will do when Putin looks at him with his big hairy eyeballs. Some of the options he has suggested lead me to believe the outcome won't be good at all for us Americans. I know what I would do, and it would be steady as she goes...with a swift kick when necessary. I know what "when necessary" means because I have experience. And my friends aren't terrorists.
The End.
Obama - Good thing you asked that. So, I have a plan. Its big. Blah blah, big big plan full of hope. Not a bad plan like Bush and McCain, their plan is bad. My plan? numbers, figures, numbers, blah blah. Government will save you and do everything. Big, costly plan.
McCain - The government is stinkeroo at stuff, so why the heck should they have health care? I say take this tax credit and go forth and get yourself the plan you want, its a free country so long as Obama doesn't get elected! And forget these stupid don't get health care from that state because you don't live there laws! No! Free market = lower costs! Just say no to socialism!
Obama - Wait! You can't do that! If you do that they will go to lawless states like Delaware! Health Care is a right! Joe Biden Version Constitution says so! We replaced that stupid free speech clause with "Health care for all"! Health care for small business, too! Except the screw 'em sector, not them. Oh, and my mom died of cancer fighting for coverage because it was a pre-existing issue. She was on the phone! She had to call! I couldn't call for her because I was too busy shunning my white family! But I will call for you! By the way, what is a commodity?
Question 7 - How will you lead with peace?
McCain - PEACE THROUGH SUPERIOR FIRE POWER. Because we can kick ass, we keep peace here, there, everywhere. I know, I 've done it. Wait for the right moment, and then BLAMMO, kick some commie butt, result? Peace. Obama? Shoot, he said the surge wouldn't work. Still says that. Because he is dumber than Biden when it comes to such things.
Obama - McCain is right again. I don't understand. I don't like this war, and I want a do over so I can stop it by waving this white flag here. McCain is right that America is great. But we should not be braggarts. We should not point out we are great, we should let other countries have a chance to feel superior, even if that means they might try to shoot us or something. We deserve it. But we should stop genocide in Darfur, because that is just plain evil, killing people because of their race. But putting people in wood chippers is ok. And we shouldn't stop genocide if it will take longer than 10 minutes, or if someone gets hurt or its hard. But from the air - that is ok, because then no one gets dead or anything. Maybe if we stop being so pushy other countries will help and do this. If we give them a puppy and say pretty please they will.
McCain - Obama decoder ring needed again - this time it says you are a Lilly livered cowering coward that wants to surrender instead of fighting like a man. I know how to fight like a man, need experience, not rhetoric. Cool, even experience.
Question 8 - So, you say you want to invade Pakistan?
Obama - BUSH! ROVE! McCAIN! Bush sucks! We are in Iraq and need to get out!
McCain - I love me some Teddy Roosevelt. Speak softly, carry big stick. That guy? Speaks loud and long, little tiny stick if you know what I mean.
Obama - Ok, so we shouldn't invade Pakistan unless we do. McCain says I am inexperienced. Well so what, he sang "Bomb Iran!"
McCain - Its a vet thing, you wouldn't understand.
Obama - Should have killed Osama Bin Laden and there would be instant world wide peace. I will kill him. Just you wait. I am making a transmorgifier in my basement and then I will kill him without really killing him. But there will be peace.
McCain - yeah, you do that. Meanwhile, I am going to go ahead and listen to my friend here, Gen. Patraus.
Question 9 - Oh NOES! RUSSIA! COLD WAR!
McCain - Putin can KMA. I told him before, I'll tell him again.
Obama - ME TOO! He can...what McCain said! Only I said it more! And better! But I must add this - give money to the world - yes, lots of your money to foreigners. Its the only way! That and we must predict when other countries don't like us and situations that might happen - because we need to get the white flag factories all revved up so we can surrender before anything actually starts!
Brokaw - Russia = evil empire?
Obama - ummmm.....uh.....well....uh....do they get this channel in Russia? hmmmm....they sort of act kinda bad, sometimes.....
McCain - Once again, we need to drill here. Drill and drill some more. Energy needs to come from America brought to you by Americans. The Ruskies? They know I will send their fur hat wearin' fannies right back to the 18th century if they look at me funny.
Question 10 - Support Israel? Even if we have to take on Iran?
McCain - Let me shake your hand, you are a retired Navy Chief and a hero. I bow down to you, and your great service to this country. It is because of you that I am putting up with Pinocchio over there. You give me strength. Israel is the bomb, no pun intended, and messing with her is messing with me. The UN is craptastic. Need a new organization that has cojones. See above Russia comments - same goes for you Ahmadinejad!
Obama - Don't touch me, Navy Boy. Oh yes - those mullahs are not very nice. Nope, they aren't for hope and change. Won't ever take military option off the table, but we might be in another room discussing the weather and such. But it will be there. If I can find it under this pile of mail...
Question 11 - The Zen End. What the heck don't you know?
Obama - can I phone a friend? Michelle? I really know just about everything, so this is hard to answer. ummm...well....can I ask McCain because if he says something I like, I can just say "McCain is right, but I thought of it first so its really my idea"....ummm...I don't know what it means to be American, but that's pretty much ok because, you know, I am for hope and change, and I'll make sure that everyone knows that being an Obama American means the government, well specifically me, your dear leader, will show you the way.
McCain - Wowzers. Well, to start, I don't know what that yahoo is going to do the first time a crazazy Middle Eastern leader yells BOO! Or what he will do when Putin looks at him with his big hairy eyeballs. Some of the options he has suggested lead me to believe the outcome won't be good at all for us Americans. I know what I would do, and it would be steady as she goes...with a swift kick when necessary. I know what "when necessary" means because I have experience. And my friends aren't terrorists.
The End.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The Debate Redux - Part Uno
For those that just could not get through that debate, here is a recap -
Question 1 - So, the economy is all screwed up and no one knows what to do. What do you do and what’s in it for me?
Obama - We shouldn’t be afraid, but LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE NEXT GREAT DEPRESSION!!! Bush, blah, blah, firing squad for CEOS, Bush, McCain, blah blah, and for you, the little people, more policies.
McCain – I have a plan that does not include anywhere the word “Bush”. Energy from here, money stays here and doesn’t buy Ahmadinejad’s wife new burkas, your money stays under your mattress, oh! And I almost forgot! Treasury Sec will buy up mortgages and renegotiate the terms to make them more favorable for you. Sound good?
Brokaw (who was an interesting shade of orange) – Who is the new SecTreas, pray tell?
McCain – anyone but you, because you are orange. Oh, I don’t know…lemme think. Warren Buffet? Nahhhh….Meg Whitman? Yeah, she would be pretty good, and since she isn’t working for ebay any longer, she probably has the time. You know about ebay, right? You have listed all your worldly belongings on there recently to pay your mortgage that the damn dems screwed up. (oh wait, that is what he was SUPPOSED to say, but didn’t).
Obama – Me? I have to pick someone? Hey! I know Warren, too! We had watercress sandwiches just the other day at the club. Oh, did you ask a question? Bush! I mean its his fault, ummmm…yeah.
Question 2 – Déjà vu, so this bailout, WTF?
McCain – Fannie and Freddie are all f’d up, thanks to Obama’s socialist demoncrat friends. Oh, and guess who is second place in receiving blood money from the idiots running Freddie and Fannie? Not me! Oh no, that would be BARACK OBAMA. What’d you do with the money, Barry? Enquiring minds want to know.
Obama – Wow. McCain is really, really dumb. I don’t know anyone named Fannie or Freddie. I wrote a letter, I tried to fix it, but it didn’t work! No one listened, I am not all that effective! Ummmm…but people staying in their houses, that is a great idea – but uhh..not how McCain said they should. Bloviate, blah blah…have to take care of really important financial stuff. REALLY important. And big. Big big financial doings. Yep.
McCain – letter? Obama, I wrote a letter saying do something dammit because the yahoos controlling this congress are running it right in the ground and your name so was not on that letter… sheesh. Americans are wonderful and really smart.
Question 3 – You guys both suck. Tell me, which one of you sucks less?
Obama – Did you just say I suck? Let me tell you who sucks around here. BUSH. Bush is the king of suck. You know why? Because he is BUSH. McCain sucks too. Why? Because he is Bush. And…um…Washington lobbyists suck too. We need more policies. I have decided that I like the Biden version of the Constitution, so I am going to spend your money on key issues, congress rules be damned! Did I mention Bush sucks? Ok.
McCain – That was interesting. You know what really sucks? Obama’s ability to spend money like we print it up down the street. Billions, he spends and when he finally gets a coherent sentence out, we learn he wants to spend billions more. On a damn projector, people, your messiah spent 3 million dollars! Do you not get that he is going to take all of your money and for what? A multimillion dollar projector that you, middle class American, could go to staples and buy for like $50? We need to focus on energy independence which will create lots and lots of jobs. And if I am President, you get to actually keep the paycheck that you earn! Now that is novel reform right there. Oh, and guess what kind of energy? We need to drill, baby, drill. We shouldn’t be giving hard earned American cash to those terrorists just so they can use it on more weapons to kill our Soldiers! That is damn crazy talk, sending our money there. You know what else? Nuclear. Yep. Nuclear. And guess what? We have the technology to do that and do it well. And there will be jobs. GO AMERICA!
Obama - grimace.
Brokaw – And how will you prioritize these issues? What first?
McCain – prioritize? This is America! We will do them all, and do them all well because we can! When you have a brain, you can use it! A foreign concept to some, I realize, but I am able to reach across the aisle and work some deals. Like McCain/Feingold, and when I worked with Kennedy. (and right at this moment, thousands of Republicans threw up – ed)
Obama – we must prioritize. Yes. We should. We can’t do things all at one time, oh no. We can’t do them all at once, either. We can go to the moon, Alice! And then get health care all shored up, and the bills won’t have tons of extras because I will just pick the parts I like!
McCain – Obama, you cannot be this stupid, can you? There is NO line item veto and you know why? YOUR PARTY WON’T LET IT HAPPEN, asshat. (Ok, McCain didn’t say this, but he really should have).
Question 4 - Brokaw – amazingly, an Internet question from someone who was alive in the REAL great depression. What or who will you sacrifice?
McCain – I’m down with sacrificing. Everything stops. Slash and burn, baby. Except the Military, because that’s down right un-American to not support them. Everything else? No mas.
Obama – Let me tell you about a little story I’ve dubbed 9-11. On that day, as you may remember, that idiot Bush, who is also John McCain in drag, said go shopping. But…umm…really we should have civilians acting like the military so that umm…peace corp radicals can give the homicidal maniacs in the Army a break, and…ummm….public service, and…energy savings, wow, that’s tough at home, and I’m going to cut spending too! Yessiree! So long as I don’t cut one of my very important hope and change initiatives.
McCain – Good lord, man, what the hell did you just say? In using my handy, dandy Obama decoder ring, I understand you to say you are going to tax those “rich” people who earn $250K and more? Don’t you get that would be lots of small business owners and if you do this, they won’t be able to employ people? I won’t do that because its just a dumb idea. I say keep your money! Employ those people! Why? Because it makes sense, such a simple concept, isn’t it? (the throwing up republicans from earlier feel better now)
Obama – Hey! He was mean so I get to break the rules!
Brokaw – shut up, barry.
Question 5 – tell the world about Social Security
Obama – obviously, McCain will screw it up. Medicare will be toast too. But let me talk about that tax thing, even though you told me to shut up. I am NOT going to tax many small business owners. The ones that will get taxed? Screw ‘em (from KOS!!).
McCain – Are you able to focus at all, Senator? Ever? Shheesh. Let me answer the question for reals. I will fix it – its not so hard. Can the ear marks, get to work like Reagan did. Since Obama brought it up, though, he is going to tax and spend like a drunken sailor!
Question 6 – How are YOU planning to save all the butterflies in this big polluted world?
McCain – See, I am not George Bush. You know why? Because he doesn’t believe in Green. He is just so not with it. I feel we must take all sorts of steps to be green. Yes, we should. And you know what is green? Nukes, and I support nukes. But I don’t like George Bush all that much, because he doesn’t care about the environment, and I am greener than any San Fran loony out there.. (Republicans throwing up again)
Obama – I like Nukes and drilling too! Maybe. Or maybe I don’t. I’m not really sure. But I agree with McCain! Or maybe I don’t, do I? Hey! Shiny thing! Oh, how about if we give some stuff to China? Would that be green? If they are dollars, its green.
Stay tuned for part 2 -
Question 1 - So, the economy is all screwed up and no one knows what to do. What do you do and what’s in it for me?
Obama - We shouldn’t be afraid, but LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE NEXT GREAT DEPRESSION!!! Bush, blah, blah, firing squad for CEOS, Bush, McCain, blah blah, and for you, the little people, more policies.
McCain – I have a plan that does not include anywhere the word “Bush”. Energy from here, money stays here and doesn’t buy Ahmadinejad’s wife new burkas, your money stays under your mattress, oh! And I almost forgot! Treasury Sec will buy up mortgages and renegotiate the terms to make them more favorable for you. Sound good?
Brokaw (who was an interesting shade of orange) – Who is the new SecTreas, pray tell?
McCain – anyone but you, because you are orange. Oh, I don’t know…lemme think. Warren Buffet? Nahhhh….Meg Whitman? Yeah, she would be pretty good, and since she isn’t working for ebay any longer, she probably has the time. You know about ebay, right? You have listed all your worldly belongings on there recently to pay your mortgage that the damn dems screwed up. (oh wait, that is what he was SUPPOSED to say, but didn’t).
Obama – Me? I have to pick someone? Hey! I know Warren, too! We had watercress sandwiches just the other day at the club. Oh, did you ask a question? Bush! I mean its his fault, ummmm…yeah.
Question 2 – Déjà vu, so this bailout, WTF?
McCain – Fannie and Freddie are all f’d up, thanks to Obama’s socialist demoncrat friends. Oh, and guess who is second place in receiving blood money from the idiots running Freddie and Fannie? Not me! Oh no, that would be BARACK OBAMA. What’d you do with the money, Barry? Enquiring minds want to know.
Obama – Wow. McCain is really, really dumb. I don’t know anyone named Fannie or Freddie. I wrote a letter, I tried to fix it, but it didn’t work! No one listened, I am not all that effective! Ummmm…but people staying in their houses, that is a great idea – but uhh..not how McCain said they should. Bloviate, blah blah…have to take care of really important financial stuff. REALLY important. And big. Big big financial doings. Yep.
McCain – letter? Obama, I wrote a letter saying do something dammit because the yahoos controlling this congress are running it right in the ground and your name so was not on that letter… sheesh. Americans are wonderful and really smart.
Question 3 – You guys both suck. Tell me, which one of you sucks less?
Obama – Did you just say I suck? Let me tell you who sucks around here. BUSH. Bush is the king of suck. You know why? Because he is BUSH. McCain sucks too. Why? Because he is Bush. And…um…Washington lobbyists suck too. We need more policies. I have decided that I like the Biden version of the Constitution, so I am going to spend your money on key issues, congress rules be damned! Did I mention Bush sucks? Ok.
McCain – That was interesting. You know what really sucks? Obama’s ability to spend money like we print it up down the street. Billions, he spends and when he finally gets a coherent sentence out, we learn he wants to spend billions more. On a damn projector, people, your messiah spent 3 million dollars! Do you not get that he is going to take all of your money and for what? A multimillion dollar projector that you, middle class American, could go to staples and buy for like $50? We need to focus on energy independence which will create lots and lots of jobs. And if I am President, you get to actually keep the paycheck that you earn! Now that is novel reform right there. Oh, and guess what kind of energy? We need to drill, baby, drill. We shouldn’t be giving hard earned American cash to those terrorists just so they can use it on more weapons to kill our Soldiers! That is damn crazy talk, sending our money there. You know what else? Nuclear. Yep. Nuclear. And guess what? We have the technology to do that and do it well. And there will be jobs. GO AMERICA!
Obama - grimace.
Brokaw – And how will you prioritize these issues? What first?
McCain – prioritize? This is America! We will do them all, and do them all well because we can! When you have a brain, you can use it! A foreign concept to some, I realize, but I am able to reach across the aisle and work some deals. Like McCain/Feingold, and when I worked with Kennedy. (and right at this moment, thousands of Republicans threw up – ed)
Obama – we must prioritize. Yes. We should. We can’t do things all at one time, oh no. We can’t do them all at once, either. We can go to the moon, Alice! And then get health care all shored up, and the bills won’t have tons of extras because I will just pick the parts I like!
McCain – Obama, you cannot be this stupid, can you? There is NO line item veto and you know why? YOUR PARTY WON’T LET IT HAPPEN, asshat. (Ok, McCain didn’t say this, but he really should have).
Question 4 - Brokaw – amazingly, an Internet question from someone who was alive in the REAL great depression. What or who will you sacrifice?
McCain – I’m down with sacrificing. Everything stops. Slash and burn, baby. Except the Military, because that’s down right un-American to not support them. Everything else? No mas.
Obama – Let me tell you about a little story I’ve dubbed 9-11. On that day, as you may remember, that idiot Bush, who is also John McCain in drag, said go shopping. But…umm…really we should have civilians acting like the military so that umm…peace corp radicals can give the homicidal maniacs in the Army a break, and…ummm….public service, and…energy savings, wow, that’s tough at home, and I’m going to cut spending too! Yessiree! So long as I don’t cut one of my very important hope and change initiatives.
McCain – Good lord, man, what the hell did you just say? In using my handy, dandy Obama decoder ring, I understand you to say you are going to tax those “rich” people who earn $250K and more? Don’t you get that would be lots of small business owners and if you do this, they won’t be able to employ people? I won’t do that because its just a dumb idea. I say keep your money! Employ those people! Why? Because it makes sense, such a simple concept, isn’t it? (the throwing up republicans from earlier feel better now)
Obama – Hey! He was mean so I get to break the rules!
Brokaw – shut up, barry.
Question 5 – tell the world about Social Security
Obama – obviously, McCain will screw it up. Medicare will be toast too. But let me talk about that tax thing, even though you told me to shut up. I am NOT going to tax many small business owners. The ones that will get taxed? Screw ‘em (from KOS!!).
McCain – Are you able to focus at all, Senator? Ever? Shheesh. Let me answer the question for reals. I will fix it – its not so hard. Can the ear marks, get to work like Reagan did. Since Obama brought it up, though, he is going to tax and spend like a drunken sailor!
Question 6 – How are YOU planning to save all the butterflies in this big polluted world?
McCain – See, I am not George Bush. You know why? Because he doesn’t believe in Green. He is just so not with it. I feel we must take all sorts of steps to be green. Yes, we should. And you know what is green? Nukes, and I support nukes. But I don’t like George Bush all that much, because he doesn’t care about the environment, and I am greener than any San Fran loony out there.. (Republicans throwing up again)
Obama – I like Nukes and drilling too! Maybe. Or maybe I don’t. I’m not really sure. But I agree with McCain! Or maybe I don’t, do I? Hey! Shiny thing! Oh, how about if we give some stuff to China? Would that be green? If they are dollars, its green.
Stay tuned for part 2 -
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Debate - it required wine AND chocolate
Such as it was. Can Sarah and Joe come back? This format was crappy. Whoever had this idea should be looking for a new job. A town hall would be great - so long as it was a real one.
Obama employed the "if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull" method. He did this quite well. He blathered on (and on and on) with out much in the way of the uh and ahs we normally see. But what exactly did he say? Got me, but it sounded smooth.
Quick highlights:
Obama said McCain was not telling the truth about his invasion of Pakistan. He corrected this statement by saying "I did not say I would invade Pakistan. I SAID if Pakistan will not go after Osama Bin Laden, we should invade Pakistan". Which is different. Somehow.
Obama on health care - its a right. Really? Under what article? We did learn that after parting the seas, Obama will rid the universe of pre-existing conditions and that he doesn't want children with curable illnesses to go to emergency rooms. Huh.
McCain did not slam O like he should have. When Obama whined about North Korea and Nukes? McCain should have responded "yep, that is an issue and I am glad you brought it up. Now just how did they get nuclear technology....why, it was in 1984 and the Dems delivered it complete with personal training. Then there was this little agreement between Bill Clinton, who was - oh my! - a member of your party!
When O brought up his 95% tax decrease John should have responded "how do you cut taxes for people who don't pay them?" Furthermore, why didn't McCain jump all over Obama for specifics on spending cuts? How? How will you do this?
When O said I don't know much about history, McCain should have siad "you are right, and you don't know much about economics or domestic security either. But carry on. " That would have been GREAT.
Why didn't McCain point out how O's stance on Darfur matches why we went to Iraq? Oh so many missed opportunities.
McCain should win on points, nonetheless. He had real answers though some were just pure crapola like the green jobs and climate change shiz along with the bailout fiasco.
Without reading the transcripts, the Obama Scary Statement Du jour is the government should create and maintain the economy. This reminds me of a type of government...hang tight...it will come to me.... (sheesh, why can't McCain just say Barry! you are a damn socialist, what the hell is wrong with you?)
More tomorrow. I will, of course, read and dissect the transcripts. Why? So you don't have too!
Obama employed the "if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull" method. He did this quite well. He blathered on (and on and on) with out much in the way of the uh and ahs we normally see. But what exactly did he say? Got me, but it sounded smooth.
Quick highlights:
Obama said McCain was not telling the truth about his invasion of Pakistan. He corrected this statement by saying "I did not say I would invade Pakistan. I SAID if Pakistan will not go after Osama Bin Laden, we should invade Pakistan". Which is different. Somehow.
Obama on health care - its a right. Really? Under what article? We did learn that after parting the seas, Obama will rid the universe of pre-existing conditions and that he doesn't want children with curable illnesses to go to emergency rooms. Huh.
McCain did not slam O like he should have. When Obama whined about North Korea and Nukes? McCain should have responded "yep, that is an issue and I am glad you brought it up. Now just how did they get nuclear technology....why, it was in 1984 and the Dems delivered it complete with personal training. Then there was this little agreement between Bill Clinton, who was - oh my! - a member of your party!
When O brought up his 95% tax decrease John should have responded "how do you cut taxes for people who don't pay them?" Furthermore, why didn't McCain jump all over Obama for specifics on spending cuts? How? How will you do this?
When O said I don't know much about history, McCain should have siad "you are right, and you don't know much about economics or domestic security either. But carry on. " That would have been GREAT.
Why didn't McCain point out how O's stance on Darfur matches why we went to Iraq? Oh so many missed opportunities.
McCain should win on points, nonetheless. He had real answers though some were just pure crapola like the green jobs and climate change shiz along with the bailout fiasco.
Without reading the transcripts, the Obama Scary Statement Du jour is the government should create and maintain the economy. This reminds me of a type of government...hang tight...it will come to me.... (sheesh, why can't McCain just say Barry! you are a damn socialist, what the hell is wrong with you?)
More tomorrow. I will, of course, read and dissect the transcripts. Why? So you don't have too!
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